The Wreck of the Blog With Burn-barrels
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– Horatio Algeranon’s parody of “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” (Gordon Lightfoot)
The legend lives on from the listserv on down
Of the big net they call ‘intertubey’
The web, it is famed, never forgets the names
When the apples of bloggers turn wormy
With a load of denier lore twenty-six thousand Gigs more
Than the Burn-barrel server had empty.
The “Best Science Blog” was about to get flogged
When the claims of “no warming” came early.
The blog was the pride of the denialist side
Coming back with some photos from stations
As denialist blogs go, it was louder than most
With its posters and weatherman unreasoned
Concluding some terms with a couple of firms
When they left fully loaded for Heartland
And later that night when the Mac phone rang
Could it be TOB they’d been missin’?
The cache on the web made a tattle-tale sound
As a comment-wave broke over the railing
And every man knew, as the weatherman did too,
T’was the wrath of the science they're feelin'
The stats came late and the vacation had to wait
When the tales of Rich Muller came slashin’.
When afternoon came it was freezin’ rain
In the face of a hurricane BEST wind.
When suppertime came, the Big Mac came on web sayin’
“Tony, I didn’t even read ya.”
At seven P.M. the main argument caved in, he said
“Tony, it’s been good t’know ya”
The weatherman blogged in he had science comin’ in
And the blog and its crew were in peril
And later that night when his lights went outta sight
Came the wreck of the Blog with Burn-barrels.
Does anyone know where the love of blog goes
When denial turns the public to sour?
The searchers all say they’d have made the blog pay
If they’d put climate science behind her.
They might have split up or they might have capsized;
May have broke deep and took water.
And all that remains is the feces and the names
Of the weatherman and posters and commenters.
Global warming rolls, and sea-ice melts
In the rooms of Earth’s ice-water mansions.
Fossil fuel steams like a young man’s dreams;
With SUV’s and jetskies for sportsmen.
And futher above, the earth’s troposphere
Takes in what humanity can send her,
And the denier blogs go as the public all know
With the tales of the scientists remembered.
On a dusty old blog on the internet they prayed,
In the Global Warming Deniers' Cathedral.
The Church bell chimed till it rang 1 million times
For each post on the Blog with Burn-barrels
The legend lives on from the listserv on down
Of the big net they call ‘intertubey’
The web, it is famed, never forgets the names
When the apples of bloggers turn wormy.
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